Pain is Pleasure

Pain, a wonderful human feeling we all come across being the part of society. Society is basically a web of relationships and we all are connected with each other in various manner. Pain is most human feeling and faced by all irrespective to our culture, climate or social conditions. Interesting questions were raised in mind while I was traveling back to my hometown, a city was being prepared for 10 days Ganesh utsav, a festival of inviting lord of creativity at home as a guest and doing best hospitality to him. What made me to think about pain is the linkages between our ability to create and resolve pain. Religion, of course attribute this capacity to lord Ganesha who comes, absorbs pain and sorrow, and goes away. But is it something psychological or scientific about it? Well, don’t know about it!!
Pain has two connotations i.e. biological and social. Biological is almost clear to all of us that a wound is painful but most of us get confuse by pain created by(in) human relationships. Many of my friends, including me complains about feeling low, or feeling avoided, or feeling unwanted in different situations in different social settings. These things create a feeling popularly understood as ‘hurt’. So what is this pain or hurt?
Our thoughts are product of information we choose to grasp. Humans do not grasp information directly but we use some kind of ‘social lens’ or ‘social filter’ ( our preconceived notions and understanding ) to process this information. These processed information becomes our thoughts. This is why X person viewed in different manner and others view same X person in different manner. For instance, some people thinks me as frank and straightforward person while for others I am rude and blunt. These filtered thoughts becomes part of our personality traits and frames our experiences. For example, I am grown up in surrounding where people don’t trust each other, this information of not trusting people are included in my personality traits and therefore I don’t trust my neighbours or friends. Interestingly, my neighbors or friends may not have information as I had and so they may not have element of doubt in their personality. Such situation creates conflict in relationships when personality traits of one person do not match with others.  This conflict if not get resolved, creates a feeling, understood as ‘hurt’ or pain.
Generally, people who gets hurt tries to distract their mind. It’s wrong!! If I got wound, if it is  paining hard, and I choose to watch TV to distract mind, will it heal that wound? Obviously no!!! Rather infection of that wound will spread in rest part of my body leading to more pain. Same thing happens when we get hurt by person, we seek healing by deleting or avoiding that thought which not going to help in longer run. Than how can we resolve hurt or pain? Briefly, I share thoughts about resolving pain which may not be true according to all, but objections are always welcomed :)
Our capacity to choose between peace and anger while facing unfavorable situation will decide our ability to absorb pain.
  • Anger kills creativity, positivity and intellect, stay away from anger and learn to choose peace over anger.
  • Do not seek to escape from pain, ‘stress busters’ are myth, do not avoid pain, try to heal pain (remember watching TV or going out for holidays etc. are temporary solutions to avoid pain)
  • Think about your own thoughts which is creating pain not about situation or personality which is cause of pain according to you. No situation or personality can hurt you without your permission.
  • Never ever think of revenge or tit-for-tat, it’ll waste your time, energy, relationship with self.
  • Allow your mind to think creatively when you are hurt, it’s damn difficult but it’s good for soul. ( If I am thrown out of train even by having first class ticket, I would lead a movement, instead of fighting with ticket checker )
  • Do not entangle in bad habits or company when you are hurt.
  • Avoid sharing your emotions with other people, remember we all have different ‘social lens’ to understand reality. You are only right person to understand your own reality.
  • Do not expect someone to come and help you to heal pain, it’ll make you more dependable and not empowered.
  • Pain or hurt is great tool for emancipation or self-realization but it can turn to be destructive if not understood and learned properly.
  • Finally, do not allow situation or people to hurt you, think about ‘social lens’ of other person who is hurting you. If someone do not offer me chair in party, should I get hurt or should try to get chair….. syam vichar kijiye ( think yourself )

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Bollywood: Society, System & Self




Bollywood and Indian society shares wonderful and mesmerizing relationship. Both are reflection of each other. Sometimes, it becomes difficult to find out, whether Bollywood reflects Indian society or Indian society is reflection of Bollywood. From Indian fashion trends to relationship trends, from routine life to romantic life Bollywood has played vital role in framing communal as well as individual experiences.
This week I came across typical commercial Bollywood movie, starring Salman Khan, named as KICK. For me, nothing was too special about the movie, except a thought, that Hero playing negative role and showing positive turnaround at climax, convincing the audiences that his steps was RIGHT for noble cause.

Villains are inseparable elements of Bollywood formula. As said above, since inception, Bollywood has reflected Indian society in very dramatic and interesting way. I attribute efforts of reflecting society in cinema to villains and not heroes. Villains are actually reflection of problems which society is facing while hero are imaginary solutions or methods of solving that problems. For instance, villains before independence were British colonizers; during 50’s were pity picketers and thugs; during 60s & 70s villains were smugglers; during 80’s villains were capitalists which gave birth to the iconic figure angry young men who was surrounded by labour class difficulties; during 90’s there appeared social villains who tried to sustain rigid marriage norms and tried to curtail romantic relationship between girl and boy from different class; the decade followed after year 2010 saw special kind of villains i.e. diseases (mental & physical) as projected by movies like Guzaris and Tare Zameen Par.

Interesting part of Contemporary Bollywood is its amalgamation of various perception and reflection of Indian society ranging from increasing stress levels in urban centres to gay & lesbian inclusiveness. Along with various sensitive issues Bollywood is also moving towards critical spiritual area of projection of reality. Movies like Bhag Milkha Bhag, Zindgi Na Milegi Doobara, Shaitan to name few are projecting urge of self-realization from commercial platform. While movies like Singham & Dabbangg, and others with similar genre has proven commercial success in projecting the urge to make ‘system’ corruption free.

Coming back to villains; since ages, Bollywood has clearly demarcated between hero(the Right) and villain(the Wrong) and this demarcation changed as society changed. The worrisome issue came up in mind is that the demarcating line between villain and hero is getting blurred in contemporary commercial Bollywood. More Bollywood stars are adopting anti-hero role or so called negative hero role. Movies like Once Upon Time In Mumbai, Dhoom, Kahani and most recently Ek Villain and Kick showcased hero as adopting wrong means to achieve noble cause. The commercial success of these movies makes it clear assumption that Indian audiences are getting convinced with their hero about doing wrong things like a villain. Moreover, the villains are now seen as person in mob, its hard for hero to identify such villain and he challenges hero with moral/ethical questions (like joker does for Hollywood superhero).


If contemporary Bollywood is reflection of current situations in Indian society, then one has to be aware about the villains residing in our self and community in/for we live and die. These villains needs to be addressed by adopting RIGHT means. Decision of adopting RIGHT means to defend villains within us is toughest task I can foresee for Indian society with the hope that Indian society will revive its SELF HEALING attribute and will enable individual to defeat villains hidden in self  without adopting WRONG means.

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Syam Vichar Kijiyega (THiNK YOuRSELF) !!!!!!!



Mahabharat, great mytho piece, always inspired me, forced me and stimulated my thoughts about ethos of society at large.  Luckily, my generation is able to watch two good commercial manifestation of this mythological work.  Comparative minds always rate any one of these better than other. I am not in favor of judging which version is better and which is not. At every point of time society has its own preferences and it manifests its cultural capital in accordance with that time, nothing new!!!
 The thing which stuck my thoughts in new Mahabharat (broadcasted by StarPlus) is ability to rationalize religious notion which was projected ‘as it is’ in BR Choppra’s Mahabharat (broadcasted by DoorDarshan). Previous version showcased my favorite character, Krishna as god (and this didn’t attracted me much) but contemporary attempts to project Krishna as a bright, smart and intelligent knight who is humanistic, modern, socialist and pro-feminist (a true hero, in my sense).  I am not gonna a share thing s about Krishna for time being…. What I need to share is concept of CHEATING as projected by character of Krishna in contemporary version of Mahabharat… so, what does cheating means?

In general sense, cheating is bad word and worst act that human can do to other human. Cheating, normally means doing things which are ‘not expected’ to be done. In other words, it is like breaking mutual or formal contract we do with others. It may be in form of breaking (or even making fake) promises, it may be in monetary fraud, it may in form of tell lie, and it includes many such other forms. People who do this entire are ideally claimed as cheaters by society.
Cheaters are in fact, cream of society!!!  Or we can say that we all are cheaters. As human we are born cheaters (watch old season of Brain Games).  For instance, an infant cries, generally thought as he/she is hungry, that might correct, that infant may be crying to get attention of people around…. None of us can say that we always speak truth nor we can do it forever… and we all have to the accept this that we click “I agree” without reading terms and condition on website……than why cheaters are considered as bad by society ?
The clear answer to this is cheating activity hurts social order, prestige, emotions and dignity. The emotional or physical loss incurred by person due to cheating disturbs the atmosphere of trust which further makes act co-operation difficult.  And it is very well understood that how important is the act of co-operation for human kind.
As social animals we are bounded by situations created by self (or even others) to escape from disturbing (or not so comfortable) situations we tend to lie or sometimes to do fake promises. Such cheating do not hurts other so it is visible in our daily routines and it becomes visible only when it hurts others. Thus, cheating which do not disturb the other’s life is acceptable up to certain degree.
Coming to cheaters, they are my favorite people on this earth. Because they tend to creative in thinking new ways of cheating, their mechanisms to hide their cheating act are innovative, they are continuous thinkers and they are more individualistic. The interesting part of Hinduism is that it claimed Krishna as “Challiya”   which means cheater which do hurt anyone :) in theological perspective, Krishna is creator of illusion (Maya), he always tried innovative ways to cheat milk maids (Gopiya) of his village, he cheated his brother-in-law, he even cheated his brother for allowing his sister to marry person she liked and still he was not hated but loved!!! 
As projected in Mahabharat….why cheating done Sakuni is understood as bad (understood as conspiracy) and cheating done by Krishna is understood cute, innocent and acceptable act???


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