Be & Have Your Self

It becomes very nostalgic movement in class which makes me to think body as device for understanding society and social relationships. Every class and chapter on body and self recalls my childhood memory where my parents, teachers, friends and society at large taught me certain body techniques , like washing hands, table etiquettes and all that stuff which is considered as manners in  our society.

Our body many times fails to express our true self. Try to recall your childhood movements where your parents have restricted you do certain things you liked to do, just for sake of manners and etiquettes. This manners and etiquettes play very crucial in shaping our bodily behavior.  Our behaviors in public places are entirely different than behavior in private place. It is obvious that one can’t behave like home in train or bus. That means we are not free from the context in which play our role. For example while traveling I have to behave like passenger, while clubbing I have to behave like partying beast, while visiting someone’s home I have to behave like guest and so on. If we fail to behave according to situation society may term us insane.

For every set of behavior in every context we have to shape (and dress :-) ) our body.  It is obvious that going to office or school in night dress is not at all acceptable to civilized society. This means that we use our body to fit into the scene in which we have to play our role. We use our body to generate (as well as restrict) expressions which is linked with our feelings. We are so obsessed with our body that we started understanding our body as self. Though there exists vast difference between self and body.

I have been experimenting since long time, about usage of my own body.  I used to take bath 2 times in a week, because bathing is considered is ‘norm’al process which is taken for granted by society. When I revealed the fact, I don’t take bath regularly to my friends and parents. Their expressions were; as if I have committed crime. They forced me take regular bath,  though I maintained cleanliness of my body in more better way than bathing but the common expression was created to confine me to the normal process.  This showed me how our self is not independent from social norms. To abide these norms we have to use our body in prescribed forms. This control over behavior has qualified control over our feelings and I think that’s one of important thing which makes us human.

Many times, usage of our body becomes cause of relationship, Remember? Statement of our kindergarten teachers “no one will be your friend if don’t wash your hand” :-) Though it was mocking statement, the way you carry “your-self” actually shapes web of relationships around you.  Thus, our body is most used and abused tool for framing relations and filtering quality of relations.

Relationships started and ended because of “wrong” bodly behavior is very interesting thing to understand (though I can’t understand it completely). I have come across people who fall in love or do friendship with other person just because of bodily behavior.  Such relationships are more prone to failure because behavior is not constant. Once there is change in behavior, there is change in relationship. Such changes needs to understood maturely else it’ll result in failure of relationship.

Here is something which I have learned and want to share

• Never judge a person through his/her behavior
• If there is change in behavior, try to find out reason for such change; don’t put relations at risk for this
• Use your behavior to represent yourself; don’t use yourself to represent your body, be true to your self
• Try to understand gesture in context they are made, yawing in class may not always mean that class is boring :-D
• Don’t try to control other’s behavior, very dangerous for relationships
• Learn to make it not to fake it, your behavior should emit you not others
• Dress, sing, dance, eat, laugh or cry as you like, not as you been taught, and allow others do the same
• Never mock on other’s behavior which not normal, remember - they are rebel
• Finally, challenge norms but don’t be insane