DISSECTION OF LOVE
Again, while studying society, I got
stuck up with word which is frequently used and abused, LOVE. After month long observations and interactions
of/with people I was able to frame out the 4th DIMENSION of what
people calls love. This is all about my interpretation of people views and behavior
when they are/aren’t in any relationship. These interpretations are open of
exceptions because it very difficult to understand human nature thoroughly. I
attempted to understand elements of notion called love. I would quickly and
briefly like share my dissection of love.
- Interaction is base of any relationship, we can’t relate to person or thing with whom we don’t interact.
- These interactions are responsible to generating feeling of belongingness (friendship stage). For instance, we generate belongingness with our bikes, cares, watches, phone etc. because of frequent usage of it (that’s why say that we love our things too). I same manner we generates belongingness with another individual also.
- Belongingness with non-living is not reciprocal but with living being it is, so same kind of belongingness generated within another person also this in turn generates emotional energy (caring and sharing stage).
- This emotional energy gets intensified with increasing frequency of interactions. This intensification creates (mutual) boundaries. These boundaries are various kinds, depending on the mutual understanding. Commonly, these limits are drawn to make relationship exclusive (possessiveness stage).
- Mutually drawn limitations are dynamic and changes with time to time. With these changes people in relationship tends to decide good and bad for relationship and emotionally draws out the direction of relationship (commitment stage).
- By this stage relationship has becomes goal oriented and is understood maturely in accordance with larger social goals. It is final stage where relationship starts becoming dense with passage of time (Union stage), in normal terms, marriage stage. This density keeps on generating feeling of belongingness and it intensifies emotional energy. And with increasing density commitment to fulfill social roles for each other’s gets stronger. This phase of relationship is dedicated to those who are celebrating (or willing to celebrate) their 25th or 50th marriage anniversary. :)
Any deviance at any phase of this
complex process can lead to disruption in relationship. If this nonconformity
is not addressed mutually and maturely, it can bring serious emotional
consequences in individual life. Interestingly, if look around, we can easily
find such deviance occurring at different stages of love i.e. problems in long
distance relationships, problems of over passiveness, problem of not sparing
time for other individual etc.
I would like to end this note with the
hope that deeper understanding and emotional maturity will allow all kinds of relationships
to get dense and survive for longer time.
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Anurag pandey