I need (MY) SPACE

Interaction with Prof. G. Haragopal turned into very insightful interaction I had in this month. It is obvious that being with or listening to wise and experienced personality adds a lot to your life. At the same time, I recalled previous interactions with some of my readers. They “demanded” me to write on Human relationship. For time being I slothfully ignored their wish by saying that I am not emotionally and mentally prepared to critically examine relationships either it is between citizen and state or between two individuals. But after listening to eminent people like Prof. G. Haragopal and Jay Vasavada I feel bit confident about my view points in regard to human relationship.

Every form of relationship is based on reciprocity and mutual consent of sharing resources. By resources I mean every kind of resources i.e. either material or immaterial. Most of human relationships are based on sharing immaterial resources like time and space. People understands such “Sharing” as love. Love for others is actually an opportunity for self to go beyond (own self) and understand other’s self. Such “good” thing comes at cost of time and space. For instance “spending” TIME with loved one is mere act of getting warmth and affection from others at cost of time. We all have to PAY something or other in order to maintain this business of gives (time) and get (warmth or love). Personally speaking, failure to pay resources can lead to failure in receiving emotional resources also. For this it is very much needed to understand nature of relationship (not the nature of person, it keeps on changing with time) ;).

Time is a crucial component of any relationship. All the species on this earth is provided equal resource of time in other words, we all have 24 hours to spend. Our personality and relationships are depended on the way of we use these 24 hours. In this regard, relationships can be easily categorized into two parts i.e. extensive relationships and intensive relationships.

By extensive relationships I mean, relationships which demands more resources than  you willing to give. For instance, we have allocated 8 hours for work(or job) from 24 hours but  it is not exactly 8 hours we work !!! rather we work more or less than 8 hours. This relationship between employer and employee are demanding in terms of mental, physical, spatial and emotional efforts which is reimbursed in monetary terms. While by Intensive relationships I mean relationships which is a willing effort for resource(time) allocation. For instance time spent with our love ones. As humans we all have tendency and willingness to spend MORE TIME with family and friends. This kind of relationship is not demanding but is an emotional and mental requirement for self-fulfillment.

The reason for sharing this views here is that most of our relationships are “jumbled” and we always try to get all relationships in order for example work-life balance. We (especially people at my age) all face  difficulty in prioritizing  relationships due our ambitions, career goals, greed to earn power and money etc.  I would like to share my views quickly and briefly (so that you don’t have SPEND more TIME) J

• Respect SPACE and TIME of others, failure to this can lead to crisis in relationship
• Remember that you have same 24 hours which others got, make best use of it; invest it, spend it but don’t waste it
• Application of your labor(your work) should be for value creation for self and society instead of monetary gain, labour applied of monetary gains often leads to stress in relationships
• Spend at least 10 hours a week for your self, develop a hobby which can keep allow you to be more humane or creative. Remember this is an investment which has long term returns
• Never ever try to constrain space and time of others, it is not offence but it is dangerous for relationships.
• Organize your self in terms of spending(investing)time, but do n't be too strict, after all we are not calendars or clock.
• Be flexible, keep your plan B ready in case deciding or planning something. Doing so will allow you to safeguarded from the uncertainties of time.
• Never loose visions from ultimate goal, i.e. happiness; arrange and manage your time, space and relationships by keeping this goal in mind.
• Never ever blame persons or institution for emotional distress, instead try to find answer why he/she did this? Is he/she selfish ? why he/she is selfish? etc.