Why do I care for U ?

Before discussing anything, let me share some questions raised in my mind this week, why do parents, teachers, leaders, boyfriends, girlfriends etc. care for us? Thinking on word care provided me an unorthodox answer which I would like to share.

From a day we are born we have been controlled by various emotions, roles, institutions and culture at large. Various emotions under the name of care, expectations or desires control our behavior at every stage of our life. For instance mother stopping or forcing her child to do something which she emotionally, culturally or socially feels not good for her child. Similarly, in every institution humans are bond to perform certain roles as per individual capacity and ability like in marriage, family, education or religious institutions. These institutions are said and meant to control our behavior and thoughts in society and necessary for survival of culture at certain level which again impose greater control over our behavior and thoughts. Thus, as a human being we are never come out these controls imposed in forms of norms, emotions, expectations etc.

These kinds of controls plays very important role in generating ‘happiness’ within. Almost all human beings are afraid of one loosing controls over other people or resources which they think of theirs OWN for example parents are afraid of losing control over children, men has fear of losing control over his women, leaders has fear of losing control over followers etc. in short everyone is afraid of losing his/her position which society has given him for his for better functioning of society. This fear of losing control over someone results into expectations and when expectations are not fulfilled, individual feels ‘unhappy’. And this is the one of the big reason for generating feelings like sadness, unhappiness, hurt etc. in individual life. 

Why we feel good when we possess control over others? Sometimes we enjoy and accept control over us and we term it as social security provided by controlling agents like parents, husbands, teachers etc. we enjoy it because our mind gets on knees in front of cultural norms like being child or student we HAVE to respect our parents and teachers. Control over others gives sense of power and when people obey our commands we think ourselves superior to them and this cruel notion motivates us to raise ourselves to that position which allow us to exercise control over others and the creates cycle of control in society for instance parents have control over child and after some years children become parents and will do same with their children. Students will do same with their students when they become teachers.

Thus, we care for others, because we don’t want to lose control over other person (relationship) or don’t want to compromise on the dominance of self over others. We are afraid of losing our position which allowed as controlling relationship at various levels either it be emotional, social or institutional.

Do we really CARE ??